Have you ever been floating down the river, enjoying nature, and minding your own business when you suddenly feel a prickling sensation on the back of your neck? There’s a reason for that. It’s called men in trees. You may not see them, but they’re there. Up trees, behind trees, using binoculars, traipsing through the woods, dressed in brown, and watching your every move. Spies?
Not hardly. The men in trees are actually members of what was formerly known as the Missouri Water Patrol. In 2011, the Missouri Water Patrol merged with the Missouri Highway Patrol. Other than the uniform changing from blue to brown, not much else has changed. The purpose of the former Water Patrol remains the same as it was in 1959: to protect people while they’re enjoying Missouri waterways.
“We want them (floaters) to come out and have fun, but we also want them to go home at the end of the day,” says water patrol veteran Captain Robert Searcy.
In 2009, specific rules were implemented that are strictly enforced. Unfortunately, many floaters do not know what the rules are, and ignorance of the law will not keep you from getting ticketed.
Below is a partial list of violations:
- No glass of any kind is allowed on the river.
- No beer kegs, beer bongs, beer pong equipment, jello shots in plastic containers are allowed.
- The only polystyrene cooler (Styrofoam) allowed on the river is a bait bucket.
- No cliff jumping or rope swings are allowed.
- No nudity.
- No illegal drugs.
- No public intoxication or under-age drinking.
- No disorderly conduct.
- No air horns or excessively loud radios or stereos. (Audio decibel equipment is used to determine what is too loud.)
- No littering.
When the men in trees make an appearance not everyone is glad to see them. Many times, they are booed or given the finger (always from a safe distance). According to Tim Tallent, an agent for the Missouri Department of Conservation, “People are often shocked to see us and many don’t know what we do, but once they figure it out, the vast majority fess up and take the ticket and/or the lesson.” The most commonplace abuses tend to be misdemeanors such as underage drinking and marijuana possession.
Other times, they are greeted with great relief and thankfulness—especially when their appearance involves a medical emergency. In 2010 alone, the Water Patrol was involved in fifty drownings across the state and fourteen boating accidents with fatalities.
According to Captain Searcy less than one percent of the people who use the state’s waterways cause problems. “We don’t just see people partying and going crazy; we also see a lot of families,” he said. “So my advice to the one percent would be, ‘Don’t have that good time at the expense of other people.’ ”
So the next time you get the sensation of being watched, you probably are. Just wave and mind the rules, and everything will be fine.
this article is not accurate. no where in state statute does it outlaw jello shots. that was a overzealous interpretation of foam container on the waterway. also, they don’t talk about the creepiness of the “tree-men” as they photograph young girls peeing in the woods. hey tree-men, use your common sense and reject the oppressive government that hires you. you are not welcome on our waterways as the creeps the government makes of you.